How to make new year resolutions that stick
We are just days away from the new year and it is perhaps not uncommon for new year resolutions to be made. Common examples of resolution include getting healthier, losing weight, reducing time on social media, to purchase less clothes, waking up at 6am everyday, to end work on time and many more. According to a research by John Norcross et al 1988, 70% of resolvers kept their pledge for 1 week but only 19% were able to keep it at the end of 2 years showing us that most resolutions are difficult to keep. Some people have also stopped making new year resolutions all together due to countless failures in keeping to them to avoid more disappointments. Let's first discuss why resolutions fail.
What causes resolutions to fail?
Lacking readiness and self efficacy
There are many factors that cause resolutions to fail. According to a research article entitled “Ringing in the new year”, Readiness to change and self efficacy predicted successful outcomes both at one week and one month. If you are not ready to make changes and do not possess the confidence that you can succeed, this will set you for failure from the get go. I know of some people who fall into this category where they know what changes they want to make for example, ‘to lose 5kg by the end of the year’ but internally aren’t ready for changes as they may be too comfortable living life as status quo. They may not be willing to change their diet or make time for exercise. There are others who lack self efficacy, which is the individual’s belief in their ability to act in ways required to attain their goal. The target of losing 5kg may be too monumental a task that causes oneself to doubt that the goal is possible.
2. Excessive stress
Excessive stress has been cited as another reason why resolutions fail by John Norcross 1988. Stress may come in the form of financial stress, work stress, physical stress that cause us to be constantly fatigue. However they may come, they cause the body to be in a state of fight and flight by increasing the body’s sympathetic drive. When we are in this state, the natural priority of the body is survival and nothing else. We will not be able to work towards our long term goals because the body’s response to stress is to survive for the day. Additionally, some would tend to binge on snacks when stressed, thereby making it difficult to succeed in weight loss.
3. Negative emotions
Negative emotions are another reason why resolutions fail. Norcross (1989) found that in particular, self blame and wishful thinking are two of these negative emotions that we have to address. Self blaming may cause us to ruminate on our failures and take our focus away from the target ahead. It is important that we do not dwell on our failures and blame ourselves repeatedly. Wishful thinking on the other hand causes us to have unrealistic expectations and lead us to make unrealistic goals. When the goals are way beyond what is achievable, it is alike to playing football with a very very small goal post. The chance of scoring a goal would be lesser. Wishful thinking also makes us complacent , making us think that we can score through this tiny goal post. To attain each goal, to achieve each target, we need to be able make plans to reach each milestone that ultimately lead us to the destination of success. It is vital that we are aware of our emotions and address negative emotions so they do not stand in the way of our resolutions.
How to ensure successful resolutions?
Know why you want to change
I have had clients who are very clear on their goals. They want to be healthier so that they would not be a burden to their family. Others have bucket lists such as climbing a certain mountain or to travel to a certain country which requires physical fitness, and good health. Some want to be a strong parent for their children, to play with them or to go for adventures with them when they are older. These are strong ‘Whys’ to want to change. Knowing your “Why” will help you to be resolute on your goals and keep your eye on the prize. Whenever the temptation comes for you to lapse on your new year resolution, recall the “Why” and it will help you stay focused on your path.
2. Set realistic goals
Goal setting is a tricky business. Goals that are too easily attainable do not pose a challenge to the individual, while goals that are too challenging may cause people to give up altogether because they feel demotivated. As such, the ideal state is where a goal is challenging enough yet realistic to achieve to keep you to continue to pursue it. It’s kinda like dating where you have to balance showing enough interest while not being an eager beaver and not playing too hard to get that the other party thinks you are not interested. Keeping in balance will help you get a goal that is challenging yet realistic.
3. Manage stress levels.
Everyone undergoes stress whether we like it or not. Stress to make a living, care for a loved one, taking care of children, deadlines to meet and much more. We know from earlier in this article that excessive stress can be one factor why resolutions fail and hence it is important that we are able to manage stress levels so they do not get in the way of our resolutions. There are many ways of managing stress depending on the stressor. Firstly, is there a way to remove it? For example if housework is a stressor, is it possible to outsource the cleaning? If yes, there you go, you have removed the stressor. Secondly, when we are not able to remove the stressor, are we able to change our emotions so that we do not feel stressed despite still encountering the stressor? This would mean we have to change how we feel about the situation. My dad gave me a valuable piece of advice before I entered basic military training. He told me that when your sergeant scolds (and they do it alot and with vulgarities), don’t take it personally but treat them like mad dogs barking. So instead of feeling stressed, I have learned how not to let it stress me by accepting the shouting as noise. As Charles Popplestone once said, “You cant always control circumstances. But you can control your own thoughts.”
4. Do not be shy to seek help
Sometimes, we just need a little help. Just like how many students do not merely rely on schools to perform but have extra tuition and enrichment classes, some adults do need some help to reach their goals as well. There is no shame in seeking help and we should not let pride get in the way of reaching our target. There are various professionals out there that can be of assistance. A life coach can help guide you to align your life’s goal and vision. A psychologist can help when deeply rooted dysfunctional behaviours need addressing. A health coach can help improve the various aspects of health. A personal trainer can help improve your physical fitness. Choosing the right help will aid you to reach your goals successfully.
How can a health coach help?
A health coach can help by exploring the “why” to help you get ready for change. This would reduce the chance of failure. Also, realistic and appropriate goal setting can be better performed under guidance. A health coach can tell you if the goal is too challenging or too easily attained so that it is at the optimal level for you to keep pursuing the goal. Stress management strategies to reduce excessive stress to improve your odds of success. Most importantly, a health coach would be able to provide an individualised approach because everyone is unique and no program would fit every one well. Just like how a tailored shirt would fit you better, an individualised program will fit you better.
Speak to us if you want to improve your health in 2023!
References:
John C. Norcross, Dominic J.Vangarelli. The resolution solution: Longitudinal examination of New Year's change attempts. Journal of Substance Abuse Volume 1, Issue 2, 1988–1989, Pages 127-134
John C. Norcross, Albert C. Ratzin, Dorothy Payne. Ringing in the new year: The change processes and reported outcomes of resolutions,Addictive Behaviors,Volume 14, Issue 2,1989,Pages 205-212,
Marlatt, G. A., & Kaplan, B. E. (1972). Self-Initiated Attempts to Change Behavior: A Study of New Year’s Resolutions. Psychological Reports, 30(1), 123–131. https://doi.org/10.2466/pr0.1972.30.1.123
